In our book Wounded Women of the Bible, Dena Dyer and I touch on the wounds we face in relationships. Sadly, many of our wounds come from hurting one another in our relationships. God’s intent for us to have mates and friends was not to tear each other apart or live in disharmony and dysfunction. His desire was for us to have perfect fellowship, to serve one another in love, and to embrace the unity He willingly gave us.
When sin entered the picture, everything changed. Suddenly it’s all about us, our needs, and our wants. We have become needy people with fleshly wills and desires. Expectations rise, battles are sparked, and wars become ongoing. Suddenly we’re extremely unhappy and miserable in our relationships.
But the reality is this: No one can truly meet our needs the way Christ can. If I feel I have certain expectations of my husband and he does not meet them, then I am still a woman in need. I think I might need my husband to perform a certain way, but what I need is to find out why and allow God to fill that void in my life.
A therapist friend says, “To focus our energy on having someone, even a spouse, meet a need for respect and consideration and getting angry when that person does not meet that need is to fail to recognize the reality that God has already been meeting that need with His own loving respect and consideration for me.”
We are much healthier in our relationships when we no longer need others to meet unhealthy needs in our lives. We are much healthier in our relationships when we recognize our needs and turn to God to meet them.
Here's the question: "Do we trust God to handle any need we may have? Any desire? Any frustration, anger, bitterness, or discomfort we're struggling with? Or do we take it upon ourselves to step out in the flesh and try to control things?
Freedom awaits; the freedom to love, commune, and fellowship in the ways God intended-- in the Spirit and not in the flesh.
It's never too late to start working on you - you might be surprised as to how it changes your relationships.
"For those who live according to the flesh are concerned with the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the spirit with the things of the spirit. The concern of the flesh is death, but the concern of the spirit is life and peace." --Romans 8: 5-13
Admit you're struggling (We all have character defects and struggle with living in the flesh)
Admit you're not in control (Be willing to confess to yourself and God that you're not in control)
Admit God is in control (Admit that God is in control and He's working all things out.)
Will you let God be in control? (Don't take it upon yourself to hurt others with your fleshly behavior. Ask God to come in and take control of the situation and cover you with the Holy Spirit)
Amen 🙏🏽 this has members inspirational